Even when you know a relationship must end, the actual ending is never easy (at least I like to think that even cruel heartless people suffer too, although they may not show it).
When you are doing the ending, the power is exhilarating, but also a burden - for those of us who are at all compassionate. When the end is done to you, it doesn’t feel so hot. In fact, you might even cry, experience rage, beg for another chance or otherwise vent your feelings.
Whether the breakup is expected or unexpected, it HURTS.
Even more challenging is the “I’m torn” breakup. You may have been putting it off or avoiding the inevitable. You may think it’s possible for change, so you hang in a little longer. Or you may really love, adore and cherish certain things about a person – but other things are just too intolerable.
What makes the scales tip? A new relationship, an affair, kids graduating, death of a parent or a cat, an inheritance, a new job, an epiphany. Something in us breaks and we know we can’t go on the same as before.
You may look for a partner with different characteristics from your narcissistic wasbund or materialistic mate, promising yourself “I’ll never put up with that again.” A new relationship holds promise, until we are reminded that everyone has flaws. It’s just a matter of which flaws you can accept, and live with.
In the end, we are left right back where we started, with ourselves.
Can’t break up with yourself.
Just try to break even.