My good
friend Amber Disk-In (I think she prefers Diks-In) has dispensed some fantastic
dating advice over the years.
By far her
best advice is directed to married people. She asserts, “There comes a time
when you have to realize you can have a better life than the one you have.
Wouldn’t it be more beneficial to you and your wife to meet new people who are
better suited for you both? Your kids will adjust. You can do things you never
could do on the weekends you give away your kids. It’s a win-win! XO”
Amber’s amberlicious
advice comes with tried-and-true experience. As owner of The Pet Nanny, she
easily translates her experiences with furry fluffy animal friends to real
people. She offers “tender loving care of your animal children” and she thinks
she understands the needs of real human children as well. Animal babies get
separated from their parents all the time, and Amber believes this successfully
correlates to human babies as well. Based on her extensive cuddle time with
brainless furbeasts, she knows a lot about feeding, walking, watering of
property and detonating families. She even advocates “customized needs per
client.”
Folks at her
own Canyon Springs High School have reaped (or is it raped?) rewards from her
customized advice. Far and wide, married couples have reconsidered their vows
and ventured out to dating planets. Amber’s own sister loves her divorce, and
has become best friends with the husband she kicked to the curb. Doug E and
Selena M had an especially lovely parting, complete with Amber’s animal
counterparts in the admiring audience.
“Everyone is
better off dating!” she exclaims. “I value commitment and whatnot. Commitment
to playing the field!
Her motto is
“Live
every day like it's your last, no regrets, and love like it's the first time,
every time.”
Considering she’s pushing 38 and has no marital prospects herself,
it’s clear Amber’s dating advice brings lasting hap-penis.
 |
| Warning label: Dating horrors can result. Can be fatal if swallowed. |
priceless...
ReplyDeleteThis is great. Seriously. Amber alert? Haha. First Dates for life = Free Dinners.
ReplyDeleteWow Amber you're a real whore! You can't turn a whore into a housewife, so enjoy those furry friends
ReplyDeleteANYONE that really knows Amber knows this is some crazy bitch who has no life and a pre school mentality to write all these lies. I'M So sorry your marriage failed and you have to blame someone your husband may have confided in instead of him Get Over It AND MOVE ON! I pray your kids dnt learn this kind of behavior.LOSER!
ReplyDeleteWow, this lady has some balls! They say the best form of compliment is impersonation. It's funny how all of this misquoted info was found off of the internet (STALKER) and Amber's fun dating blogs (where she tells about her mishaps and lessons and not about ruining marriages) and now that you saw how AWESOME her dating blog is, you have created your own. So, you must REALLY LIKE HER! I am ACTUALLY a friend of Amber's and I can tell you this...I know the entire story. You can't blame someone else for your own actions. Look within yourself. Forgive yourself and your ex. And move on. To blog about this 3 years after the fact, you have an obsession. Rather than slander someone you know nothing about (and possibly get sued) I suggest you remove this blog post.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteAmber, you hopeless horr. It must be so hard to be you.
ReplyDeleteare u lesbian
ReplyDeleteAmber is everything - she does girls, animals and married men.
ReplyDeleteAmber, my answer is simple. If you didn't want to be written about...then you shouldn't have done it.
ReplyDelete