People are talking about respect these days. Chant with me: R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
Dear Mother:
 |
| Gargoyles who kidnap |
Even though
I’ve stolen your children from you, you should not be angry at me. I’m a super
person. With fake eyelashes and a fake tan, I can teach your children a lot
about what it means to be beautiful and humane. Plus, I love to shop til I
drop, and I buy them clothes like they’re my little paper doll set. If only
they were really made of thin cardboard and didn’t have such three-dimensional
personalities. I also love to sit on my brand new couch and watch TV, while I
watch your children clean my house and my dog poo. Like really, I am here to
provide stabilization for your children. I’ve made up nicknames for them, and
I’m even allowing you to borrow my nicknames, because I’m so super. Just
because my IQ is a lot lower than yours doesn’t mean I’m dumb. I’m a super
person and I’m making sure your kids are…well, brainwashed. So their brains are
nice and clean.
Respectfully,
The Child Kidnapping Gargoyle
Dear Child Kidnapping Gargoyle:
You stole my
children.
Super-dumb
or not, you’re missing the main point.
See you in
the woods.
With all due
respect (which is none),
Mother Bear
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| I can respect that |
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