He thought he was trading up.
But as his workout partner overheard him complaining at the gym, “The grass really isn’t any greener.”
In fact, the grass is dead. It’s not real grass. It’s plastic. When you get up close to sniff it, you get poked by a synthetic blade. No fresh and natural here.
She can’t spell and she loves to outfit him, her way, just like his mother. She changed the tye-dye to preppy plaid. And she’s ready to digitally remaster the kids. Authentic from the inside out. Manners, name brands and censorship. All the attributes that make a person whole and true.
Buy-buy, now! Thank the Dating Gods they won’t grow up like you!