22 July 2012

Repri-Man-Ding Date

A date is not off to a good start when the reprimanding starts before you’ve actually met, or done anything officially “wrong.”

I had a date start off that way when a potential suitor used my entire answering machine tape to admonish and insult me for not returning his phone calls in a timely manner. Never mind I was sick in bed, on death’s door with mono and pneumonia. I’d failed to return his call for 2 days, and he was not going to let me get away with it.

Or take my friend M’s recent experience with a Plenty-o-Fish matched mate. Perhaps, she should have been warned that his profile stated, "If you're the kind of woman who's too busy to return phone calls, then we won't get along." Whoa. Who says a bizzy woman is bad date material? Isn’t it a plus if she has enough going on to have an interesting life, considering you were not a factor up til now? I’m bizzy and I don’t usually return phone calls (I text only, please) and I’m still a very Hot Date.

Feeling threatened, M actually did return his phone call, where he proceeded to complain about any women whom he'd driven a distance to meet, paid for dinner, but then after the date, they failed to return his calls or were too busy to make a subsequent date.

Feeling a surge of everybody deserves one more chance, M decided to set a date with him but then learned her babysitter had cancelled. Repri-Man offered "Why don't u just have me babysit, and then u can go out on your date?" Ouch. She had in fact double-date-booked herself and used the babysitter as a flimsy cover story, but for Repri-Man to call her out on this fact was oh-so-rude.

M’s final attempt (feeling like she was in the Roman Coliseum with a large hungry lion), was to offer to Come His Way. His cynical cumback was “Why don't u just call me when ur actually on ur way down?" and he outright refused to set a time and place. Feeling a Reprimanding Vibe, M texted that she thought it wouldn’t work out after all.

His last, cutting jab: “Yes, I was expecting that from you.”

And they had never, even met. Yikes.

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