Props

I always like to be prepared to get out of any sticky situation as quickly as possible, if needed. It’s just in my marriage-turned-divorce that I can’t seem to find the exit.

So, about props and dating. One prop I’ve always been fond of is the engagement ring. The better, the bigger (that’s not a mistake, I say it that way). I love my engagement ring. Maybe even more than I loved my husband, and definitely more than he loved me! But I really can’t wear it anymore. Or shouldn’t anyway. It may be cursed. And, I don’t want to make my dates feel like they are doing something wrong in the eyes of the Catholic church by dating a still-married person. (If my divorce never ends, a lot of people will be dating a still-married person!). But my finger feels naked. And this is not the fun and frolicky kind of naked you think of when you think dating.

However, recently I may have had a change of heart on this subject. While shopping in Target with my daughter (a haven for Dating Moms) we stumbled across the best, most coolest engagement rings, for the low, low sale price of $19.99. That’s right, a man could buy your love for under $20 excluding tax. So I decided to buy myself some love that fine day at Target.

This ring will actually come in handy for dating – to repel or reject potential dates I don’t want – without having to say a thing! All I’ll need to do is flash this handy diamond (maybe is cubic zirconia?) and presto – the date-seekers are gone. Or at least the above-board ones. Some guys only go for the married women – you know who you are.

I noticed during my marriage that flashing the ring worked flawlessly. Or maybe I just looked so haggard, tired and depressed that no sane man wanted to try me. Now that I look young and sprightly again (or maybe I should say feel, not look) I will need this Wonder Twins powered ring. The men that are flocking to me need to be controlled. I will use the ring to stun-gun the bad ones. And I will deftly remove the ring when a desirable date is in the nearby vicinity.



I especially like to dangle my ring-infused hand out the car window, alternately removing and adding the ring as needed while crusin’ the suburban strip.



All propped up and ready to go!

Did I mention I also bought the matching wedding band at Target too – only $19.99!

So in the event you want to marry me, you don’t even have to spend a dime!