A bad date can be like buying a used car. Haggling, pressure and cheesy are a few adjectives that spring to mind. I think I’d even rather subject myself to a used car salesman than submit to another woeful date.
So, that’s what I did. Except this was no ordinary used car deal. First, the salespeople, who happen to be excellent, casually mentioned they were selling a used Vespa. What?!?! I have only wanted a Vespa for the last 20 years. Talk about delayed gratification.
And now that I’m swingle, it’s time to ditch the minivan. Besides being anything but a date magnet, the minivan is not mini, and sends an invalid message. ‘I love carpools!’ ‘My kids leave lollipops stuck to the upholstery!’ ‘I can’t stop listening to Schoolhouse Rock songs!’
I still have the van for those select dates where a bus-like vehicle is required. But the Vespa is way cool! I can ride it in a dress and sandals. There’s a little hook for my single-lady bag of groceries. It uses about 1/70th of the minivan’s gas, which will save me approximately $3,000 a year...if I did the math correctly.
I promised I wouldn’t do any DSing while driving. Most of you parents will know exactly what DSing is. And for those who don’t, consider DSing a video form of Dating Suburban. That could be dangerous.